ref: b9fbb17c04e4ccfb2021dac818e514351ca8f646
dir: /troff/0301.ms/
.LP \& .ce .sp |4.25i .ps 12 .I Inter faeces et urinam nascimur. .R .PP .ps 12 \(em St. Augustine of Hippo, as quoted by Simone de Beauvior in .I The Second Sex .R .PP .ps 12 .CW ░ New York, 1963. .PP .ps 12 .I Wake up. .R .PP .ps 12 Was that \fIthe dog?\fR .PP .ps 12 What had he been dreaming about? Tried to fall back asleep, and, after a while, it more or less worked. Fifteen minutes went by. This time it was definitely the dog. Rolled over and buried his head under his pillow. .PP .ps 12 And now it was going to be his back keeping him awake. .PP .ps 12 Gave up, looked at the clock. Thirty minutes to go time. .PP .ps 12 Okay. .PP .ps 12 Decision point: piss, and wake up his brother, or hold it inside until the urine poisoned his bloodstream. Today he decided to stay put. .PP .ps 12 Who was he kidding? .PP .ps 12 Tapped his visor. .PP .ps 12 Okay, messages. Mail server locked up again. Web console and reboot the VM. Wait for it to come back up. .PP .ps 12 And now, messages from his dog. .PP .ps 12 Pale sunlight on drab sheets. .PP .ps 12 A voice from his second phone. Annoying, but better to know what was in store for him, later in the day. .PP .ps 12 Stumbled into the kitchen, somehow. .PP .ps 12 Wadded up dog mats. Windexed, Lysoled, installed fresh mats. Took the dogs outside. Let them back in. Fed them. He had nineteen dogs. Just kidding, there was only one dog, who moved very slowly. Let him back outside again or else he'd whine all the way through breakfast. .PP .ps 12 Put on a record. .PP .ps 12 He had forgotten to light the incense. Fine, the kitchen smelled like dog piss. The whole flat smelled like dog piss. .PP .ps 12 Outside, the same old tornado approached. .PP .ps 12 He liked to imagine what it would have been like to have a brother. Having to be careful what he said about Mom and Dad. Having to pretend to care about what someone else thought. They'd share his double bed because there wasn't any extra room in the flat. He was already lucky to enjoy his own space; he knew there was simply no way that would obtain if his parents had been saddled with multiple children. .PP .ps 12 He was also lucky to live in a flat with ground floor access. All the way up near the top of the silo. Most families still weren't allowed outdoors. .PP .ps 12 His hypothetical brother could come and go as he pleased. All access. Tommy liked the way his brother was able to grow his hair long, was allowed to pick out his own clothes, not like the buzz cut and parka Tommy was forced to model after their father. .PP .ps 12 They were twins, of course, but his brother was a few years older, which never struck Tommy as a contradiction until many years later. .PP .ps 12 It made all the difference in the world. .PP .ps 12 The dog didn't seem to mind the smell. .PP .ps 12 The animal had belonged to his father. It was dead, now, but still it pissed wherever it liked, and Tommy was left to clean up the mess. .I Memories. .R .PP .ps 12 Presently, Tommy found himself facing another morning. .PP .ps 12 From time to time Tommy wondered where all the the trash bags went when he was through with them. He would drag them down to the pallet at the end of the hallway, over by the freight elevator, but then what? Who came along to collect them? He'd never been able to catch them in the act, but obviously, .I some .R anonymous hero had been removing the trash on a regular basis. It never got a chance to pile up. .PP .ps 12 Tommy surrendered immediately to his ignorance, resigned to never finding out. .PP .ps 12 His brother would probably have known. .PP .ps 12 Bear (the paper Bear) could only watch in mounting frustration as these green children went about their lives, wholly oblivious to his presence, ignorant of his efforts to change and mold them. The one with the long hair should really have known better, but that one seemed content for now to play the older brother. Before long Bear would have to talk to them face to face. .PP .ps 12 This brought up an interesting point. How much longer .I should .R Bear let them continue to live in ignorance? He could feel himself folding. Each of the boys evinced a peculiar insularity, constitutionally (or otherwise) averse to simple curiosity. Bear had anticipated they might draw inspiration from a personal, perhaps idiosyncratic view of the world, but confoundingly, this seemed to be wishful thinking on his part. Bear discovered instead that each boy lacked a discreet point of view at all. Nothing was inside either of them that he hadn't planted there himself. Dead flowers, etc. .PP .ps 12 What a way to live. .PP .ps 12 In the end it scarcely mattered. Tommy and Peter did what children have done since the dawn of creation. .PP .ps 12 They ignored him.