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.PP
.ps 10
The branches and leaves turn back on themselves, an uncertain autumn,
folding into security, is it me, is it me, is it me?
.PP
.ps 10
The mail came and Shinji climbed out of bed to retrieve it.  The
stairs were steeper in the morning.  And it was a big box.  Cutting the
tape with confident strokes of his pocket knife, green boards of
Nabokov smiled up at him.  He left the box on the table and went into the kitchen to
make some coffee.
.PP
.ps 10
04:13.  Just enough time to walk to work.  He arrived with minutes to
spare and greeted the early arrivals.  It was always the same.  Shinji
switched himself off and got on with his day.

.PP
.ps 10
The smuggling business had proven hard to control.  And now, Shinji was
desperate.  He flashed on his cousin, in New York.  Here was a guy
who'd always help out.  Making sense of the details could wait for
later.
.PP
.ps 10
Shinji didn't know how to say goodbye to Cameron and Andrew.  Figured he
wouldn't.  That would alleviate the need to discuss his debts...
.PP
.ps 10
He'd simply not return to Japan.

.PP
.ps 10
The \fIreal\fR Shinji was ready to return to Japan.  All that was left was for him to
set a date of departure.  His uncle had made the arrangements.  No
slow boat for him, this time.

.PP
.ps 10
It was out of his hands.  They'd cut off the tip of each index finger so
he couldn't play the piano.  He couldn't gamble.  Shinji realized he
couldn't visit his cousin while he was still using his name.  He
practiced calling himself Carmine in the mirror.  It didn't feel
very natural, anymore.
.PP
.ps 10
What did they expect him to \fIdo?\fR